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I make my own lunch.” Whether or not anyone else laughed, Dad certainly did.
I found plenty of brochures but no maps. I loved the dress that I bought at a flea market. “No, this is the fire station.” “Oh! Then came Dad’s ship’s turn. “I’m looking forward to that!” —Mona Randem. “No, I... My dad and uncles were all in the Army during wartime, but only two of the three served overseas. Thinking no one could hear me as I loaded a UPS tractor trailer, I began to whistle. ", Kevin thought for a second and replied, "Well I do know an usual number of people in the world. Turns out he had colon cancer so he had to have surgery to remove the tumor. Mom admitted she didn’t have anything particular in mind, and the pair started chatting. During a job interview at the 99 Cents store, my son was asked, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” My son’s reply: “At the Dollar Store.” He got... Two guys stole a calendar. Autocorrect can go straight to he’ll. Martin is into cars, and constantly brags about his Ferrari, which also vex, A doctor comes in and says "Congratulations! I said, “Are you telling me other people are trying to put money into my account and you’re telling them no?” —Comedian Rich Vos. I wore it confidently to an evening party and glowed when a woman exclaimed, “Oh, how stunning!” Yes, I was grinning from ear to ear, until she added cheerfully, “Hang on to it, honey. "To use your brains full capacity," he said, "you must organize your thoughts into smaller groups.". When the headaches strike the poor man can’t work, he can’t sleep, he can’t bare light or sounds or even touch. Now he has a semi-colon. I c-c-can’t st-st-stop st-st-stuttering!” So the doctor calms him down and says “we’ll need to do a throughout physical examination to see what’s the root cause of th, They’re really starting to smell though, so I should probably get rid of them. Patient: Forty-four and 39 from my wife who passed away, and from my second wife, 15 and 13.
My mother was hard of hearing and wore a hearing aid that she removed at bedtime. My husband and I were daydreaming about what we would do if we won the lottery. Then he remembered what I’d said and confidently called out, “Acura!” —Linda Price. “Oh!” I shouted. He saw my phone on the couch at home and brought it with him. Fred: How bad is it? He then asked for some e-cigarette products and handed me his ID to prove he was... An utterly confused woman called our local fire station about getting a haircut. . Doctor: You must or you'll die.
Mom admitted she didn’t have anything particular in mind, and the pair started chatting. Pleats will come back someday.” —Mary Lou Wickham. They’d smoke two joints before they smoke two joints, and then they’d smoke tumor. “Funny,” she said, looking puzzled. The son points at his testicles and asks "Mom, is this my brain". Mike asked him, “Are you Dunn?” The gentleman said, “Yes.” Mike replied, “Well, why don’t you write to your mother? “I’m sorry, you have the wrong number,” I said. “Don’t you... Q: Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell? We'll need ten to start the cancer experimental treatment. As we reached a red light, he pointed to the box.
“I’m... My husband and I were daydreaming about what we would do if we won the lottery. On the way to meet my husband at a restaurant, I realized that I didn’t have my phone and immediately panicked. A mother is bathing her three year old son. A wise man once told me that the human brain was the most powerful tool that everybody had, but many people failed to use. Here's my favorite dad joke, with me as the dad: Every Sunday on the way to church, we would have to stop at a railroad crossing. I loved the dress that I bought at a flea market. I could tell he didn’t think it would be cost-effective when he asked, “Who’s going to pay the therapist?” —Virginia Davies. If we leave them out on the counter, people just come in and take them.” —James Nealis. Apparently, he has a very fine sense of tumor.
101 of them, in fact! On Dad’s first day, the friend took him to the production line where he would be working. I don’t even remember how to curse.” “You keep pulling on that rope, and it’ll come back to you.” —Submitted by Rose Mattix. During World War II, my father often found himself stuck with KP duty. The next time he wanted to use our new toy, he looked a bit puzzled.
My father liked to say, “I’m bald because a good man always comes out on top.” Dad loved to make people laugh. —Submitted by J. Lee, Since the coronavirus outbreak, my 47-year-old son has been washing his hands religiously. The friend explained that as a diesel fitter, my dad’s responsibility would be to pick up each garment as it came off the line, look it over, and then hold it up and announce, “Yep, deez’ll fit ’er!” At least, that’s the story my dad told a thousand times. The woman quickly learned... We Uber drivers never know whom we’re going to end up with as a passenger. I could tell he didn’t think it would be cost-effective when... Bad Jokes That You Can’t Help but Laugh At, Funny Photos That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud, Cheesy Pick-Up Lines Guaranteed to Get a Laugh, The Absolute Best Funny Movies of All Time, Weird Facts You Never Knew About Laughter, Work Cartoons to Help You Get Through the Week, Clever Wedding Jokes Perfect for Any Speech, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), Do Not Sell My Personal Information – CA Residents, “I’m only taking this class so I don’t eat for an hour.”, “Who knew 40 years of neglect would have repercussions?”, “Does this body make me look fat?” —Mark Garvey. When he arrived, I checked my texts.
The wife undresses and says, "25 years ago, when you first saw me naked, what were you thinking?" So we're going to give you 3 choices for brains and you can decide which you can afford", The wife replies, "I think he did.
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